I know… this title sound “a little” blasphemous… but don’t judge the post by its headline. It has nothing to do with being arrogant (oh well, maybe just slightly… when it’s called for) It’s really about empowering you. It’s about cultivating a mind set for selectively choosing what to deeply care about and what not to at all. It’s about moving trough life with certainty and pride. Not with doubt and insecurity. It’s about having the balls and/or the guts to speak up your mind every day (without alcohol 🙂 ) . Its not about being a little braggy, sissy boy/girl who says “fuck the rest, I’m the best” in order to run away from responsibility, avoid discomfort and get a little bit of self-esteem boost. It’s the opposite: taking full responsibility and knowing what you are talking about AND THEN SILENTLY not giving a fuck about anything or anyone else. It’s about not giving a fuck and looking cool doing it. It’s all about walking the walk and talking the talk. It’s about the art and science of it.
A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.
– Vernon Howard
The benefits of mastering the art and science of not giving a fuck (compared to caring too much):
- Does not give a fuck about what people think.
- Does not seek for approval or permission.
- Puts everyone around in spectator mode.
- Agent of Enthusiasm
- Independent of outcome and/or expectations.
- Not afraid of failure. Fearless Risk Taker.
- Fully responsible for himself.
- Immune to criticism.
- “My way or the highway”
- Lacking Insecurities.
- Steel Hand in velvet glove.
- No questions asked. No hesitation. Leads!
- Fully Present/ Awake.
- Almost unbearably self absorbed.
- Enjoys his own company. Alone but never lonely.
- Socializes with like minded people.
- Concerned about being perceived as a nice guy.
- Cannot do anything without permission. Needs approval.
- Always spectates. Never participates.
- Black Hole (even if all is well: The world will end 2012)
- Strives for getting it right and fears failure.
- Security freak.
- Follows orders.
- The opinion of others defines him.
- Insecurity bomb.
- Goes with the flow. Not in control of his life.
- Emotionally constipated.
- Doesn’t have personal life. Reality shows are more real and worthy of attention.
- Lonely even when not alone.
- Socializes with whoever likes him.
Getting in touch with your inner “I don’t give a fucker”
Think about Madonna – did she give a fuck about people’s opinions? Was she empowered? Was she productive? Was she competitive? What if she said: “let me see if mom will like this video of me first” or “Let me go to church to figure out my life first” Where would she be today?
Think about a president – does he care about his non-supporters. Is he going to get upset if he wins the election with 51%? (which means that 49% don’t like him)? Picture him saying: “Ohhh nooo… I just can’t accept this. I can only accept 95% victory”. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t at all mind winning by cheating . It’s understandable not to care about your non-supporters but think about how much they care about their supporters once they get elected. That’s right! – NADA! This isn’t really a judgement. It’s just how things really are. It works for presidents to lie trough their teeth and then turn their back. I’m not saying you should do the same. This is just an example of not giving a fuck big time and getting away with it.
Think about virtually any rap/rock star? “I don’t give a fuck” has become synonymous for “I’m cool. You ain’t!!! And you like that so buy my album.” Again – not a judgement against music artists. It’s just how things are. It works for them to sing about not give a fuck about anyone because they sell more copies! We wanna be like them! We are missing this component of ourselves and that’s why we buy their music. So we can sing along and relate to it or something like that.
What would you do differently if you really didn’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion and there where no consequences for your actions. Imagine that you are having one of those lucid dreams where suddenly you realize that this isn’t really happening and you are just sleeping on your bed dreaming but you don’t wake up. How does that change the unfolding of your dreams. Where does your fear go? How would you experiment to test your realization that you are in fact dreaming? Apply the same analogy in real life and see where would you like to use more courage and take more risk. After all no one can guarantee you tomorrow.
Till next time remember this:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson